Already Within

You were within me but I was outside myself, and there I sought you! In my weakness I ran after the beauty of the things you have made. You were with me, and I was not with you. St. Augustine

These lines are from St. Augustine’s prayer in which he is reflecting on his long spiritual journey. He came to realize that what he was looking for, that he tried for so long to find in the world, was actually a “who”, that is, God himself.

Though what he ultimately needed was the One who had always been with him and in him, he was focused on the external world of things. As Augustine realizes, had he been “inside” himself he would have found what he was searching for much earlier.

Two observations are clear: Augustine believed that God was in him before he ever “found God”, and the spiritual journey involves self-knowledge as much as knowing God.

Augustine’s perspective is not some aberration, but the consistent witness of spiritual people throughout the centuries. Prophets, mystics, and most notably Jesus himself, have always claimed an inner and deep connection to the divine independent of externals, but nonetheless they speak of that relationship shaping day to day life. Jesus called this having eternal life.

Those who commune with God in this manner have inevitably been viewed with suspicion by all who are keepers of religious institutions, and are denounced as dangerous heretics by those who rely on those institutions. Many “religious” people are afraid of those who experience the transcendent.

One of the main functions of organized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God. Carl Jung

However, this inner spiritual life, the light within us, the Spirit who indwells, the God who is all and in all, and the Christ who is in us and in whom we are, is not merely a part of the Christian life, but the whole of it. All the externals are nothing but dead rituals and performative spirituality without the abiding presence of God.

The mystery of this essence of spirituality defies all reduction, complete descriptions, or systemization. We must experience the pure gift of the omnipresent Lover of all, and learn to rest in what is, and has always been, rather than in anything we do.

Contrary to common assumptions, all the potential for our spiritual development and maturity already is hidden within us, for God is abiding in us. We do not need to be given something, but to have our eyes and ears opened to who has always been with us and in us.

Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Ephesians 5:14

The move from darkness to light, death to life, or sleep to awareness, are all familiar metaphors for this dramatic shift in consciousness. In our awakening we come to know ourselves more and more as we are known by God, which is utterly different than our own self-evaluation. We discover that we are the beloved of God.